what's up?

lost my nerve

here’s another shot of el abuelo’s plymouth from a couple of summers ago. i just liked the picture and the location.

hotter than hell, and on my way to a heat stroke about this time.

i rather prefer his pontiac, but it wasn’t at vail hq that day. maybe he’ll bring it to chicano park day this year. really hoping to go, but i don’t know. not as healthy or up to going out anymore. better half is suggesting that we try another show before then; in between rainstorms on weekends…we’ll see.

been busy. lots going on.

better half has been talking about retiring for a few months.

made a decision a couple of thursdays ago, and told the bosses the next day he was done, and that was it. something about he couldn’t sell his company stock if he was employed, so he took care of that part of the equation.

he still gets up way too early, then spends each morning before the sun comes up, sitting in the jacuzzi, watching the stars, surprisingly not missing the job at all. lol.

now the pressure for me to retire, but i hadn’t thought about it, and i’m not old enough or ready, i guess.

he’s been keeping himself busy with a long list of things he hasn’t been able to do because work always took up so much of his time.

i think the same day he was busy deciding to retire, i went to the dentist. i mentioned a tooth that was bothering me, and the next monday, i was getting a root canal.

never had one before, and had always heard horror stories. for me, it seemed like a more intense cavity filling. took about an hour, a lot of steps, too many shots in the cheek nerves and gums, but otherwise was pretty easy. i guess i complained early enough, it wasn’t infected or whatever makes it worse.

they had a neat little machine that featured an attachment that fit over the drilled out top of the tooth and basically did a little pressure car wash in the empty root space. cleaning and disinfectant.

so i lost my nerve, and i’m ok with it.

now if i can just convince myself to go to a car show and remember how to take a decent picture.

domino

here’s an old one from the vaults. back in 2017 at the bob’s big boy on firestone in downey. a fundraiser for oscar.

people blurred through my exposures, back when i’d find a car show or two every single day. really put that camera and tripod through a workout.

shiny forty-eight buick supra. i wonder if it’s still around.

————————

raining today. pomona swap meet is tomorrow. probably won’t go, though the overcast would be a perfect lightbox.

been busy at work. working a lot from my mom’s house.

(tl;dr - mom fell on her ass, and got a ride to the hospital)

my daughter was in town last month, with her dogs. she had gone off to visit a friend before a lunch date with her dad. i was out to lunch myself, about twenty minutes left, when i get a panicked call from my mom saying the big doberman had managed to escape from the backyard, via a side door.

she had been expecting my younger brother to be dropped off for a visit from san diego—he can’t drive anymore—long story for another day. she was in the garage with the door open, hanging out by her car. the side door hadn’t been pushed completely shut, and out the dog went, down the street.

dog doesn’t listen, and she’s almost ninety, so no way is going to catch it.

fortunately, i wasn’t far away, and vaguely knew where that doggo was most likely to go, to the nearby park. still, i drove along another street, that i used to walk him on before going there.

i found him harassing a man and two little yappy dogs, out for a walk, near the street. i pulled up alongside, and called him (the dog, not the man) an asshole, get in the car. he wasn’t doing anything more than sniffing the ankle biters, but i’m sure the guy was afraid for his dogs.

lucky for me, dog ran around my car, and back around to the driver’s side and hopped in. unlucky for me, i didn’t have any covers on my seats, so now i have some random scratches in the finish.

he didn’t have any collar on, and i really expected to have to chase him around the park, so i was very happy he got right in. adrenaline was really going, and now was in my veins, making me shaky.

got him home, my mom, brother, and his caretaker in the driveway, having just got there. asked mom to bring me a leash, and managed to get him back in the backyard with the other beast. was only a little bit late getting back to work, and only spouted off a few expletives as i passed by the other two.

out the front window, i saw the caretaker leave. then i saw a gray truck pull up to the curb and park. didn’t think anything of it. logged into my work computer.

a minute later i hear my ex husband’s voice down the hall, calling from the laundry room door to the garage. it sounded squeaky. just called my name. weird. then again, adding, “your mom fell down!”

ran out there. brother trying to stand up, mom is on the driveway, flat on her back. told my ex, who had come to pick up our daughter, who isn’t back yet, to hold my mom’s head, don’t let her move her neck or try to get up. my brother is getting upset.

fuck, left my phone in the house.

she has one of those systems for if she falls and no one is around, so went inside and slapped the big red button on the main box. they took a minute to finally get on the intercom. explained the situation, and please send an ambulance. they still took another few minutes and called me back on my cell phone to let me know help was coming. i guess they also sent out calls to my sister and other brother.

i think it would have been faster to just call 9-1-1. but it worked.

back out on the driveway, mom is crying and understandably scared, but also more worried that the neighbors were going to see her in such a state. strangely, no one on the street seems to be home, not that it mattered. she didn’t want the attention, didn’t want all the fuss. she seemed to be ok, but at her age, falling on cement, we’re getting her checked over.

ambulance and big fire trucks arrive and fill the street in front of the house.

i guess the story was that my brother had gone to the refrigerator for a bottle of snapple or can of coke, and had tripped over a bag of dog food that i’d placed at the front of the garage, to go back home with my daughter and her beasts.

as my brother tripped, and realized he was falling toward the car, and my mom, he screamed, as he knocked my mom down, like a domino. he landed on top of her, and she on her back, feet in the garage, head down the incline of the driveway.

he’s upset, thinking he’s killed her. she somehow, has only whacked her head, and is only bleeding from a cut on the back. she’s crying and upset.

daughter shows up, with a wtf happened on her face.

mom got a ride to the hospital, with all the hot emergency guys. (i got a pain in my chesh too…) we all got left behind to organize next steps. i am to gather her info, and it was going to take half an hour before i needed to be there.

i call my sister, who is a quarter of the way down ortega highway toward elsinore, she’s turning around. called my better half, then the caretaker, and texted my sister-in-law to quickly tell them what happened. better half was going to head to the hospital, but i told him they wouldn’t let him in, so maybe pick up some food for my brother and daughter.

caretaker hadn’t gotten very far away and came back quickly, in case my brother needed to go back home.

daughter didn’t get her lunch date. her dad left, after being the hero. couldn’t deal with what happened. i guess he’d dealt with similar issues with his parents, and it was too much. doesn’t like the sight of blood.

i sent the caretaker off to her weekend. put daughter in charge of my brother, to distract him with tv shows.

i tried calling one coworker, then another, to tell them i had to go to the hospital, etc.

i gathered mom’s purse and other info doctors would need, and drove over to the hospital.

after all that hullaballoo on the driveway, turns out she had one of the emergency buttons in her pocket the whole time. i guess not the type that feels a fall and sends help, but one you would have to push. would have saved a minute of me running back in the house, but oh well.

fortunately, my sister arrived about half an hour later, since she deals with more of the medical appointments, and could better answer questions regarding meds.

overall, she got x-rays and a ct scan. she was super lucky, as she had no broken bones, maybe a slight concussion, and a cut on the back of her head. they used her hair and glue to close it. i mean, they braided hair from either side of the cut to hold it closed, and put glue over the cut and the hair, which should dissolve in a couple of weeks. her neck is sore, and has other random aches, but that’s to be expected.

i got a text from my better half that he’d rang the bell at the house and knocked, and no answer, so had left the food on the porch and gone back home. called my daughter to let her know…the tv was set to my mom’s preferred level of volume—100%, and they hadn’t heard the door. the dogs were still outside, barking crazily, but she thought nothing of it.

about five hours later, i had to go back to get my mom’s car, which would be easier for her to get in. thanked my kid for watching my brother. they’d been watching some reptile documentaries or something. she packed up her stuff and dogs and left, while i took my brother back to the hospital to pick up mom.

sister got back in her car, and headed back to ortega highway and her weekend.

my brother has only complained about his knees and back, but otherwise seems to gotten back to normal. he had an interesting first night, walking in his sleep, but with his eyes open. mom found him getting dressed about midnight, and was afraid he would walk out the door to who knows where and get lost.

her voice woke me up, and finding the situation, i told him to go back to sleep, and he actually did.

i ended up being at mom’s all weekend, and have been over there more frequently since. she’s going to be all right, will be happier when the glue falls out and she can do her hair again.

my brother notes that we have each fallen this past year, and now we are the three wobbly musketeers. how did we get so old, so fast?

so tempted to ask the neighbor across the street if his security cameras picked up everything, just to see what happened, and how they fell, what hit first, etc., but too shy to actually knock on the door. have yet to catch them outside to ask.

i think that’s enough story time for tonight.

too soon

still haven’t fixed the camera yet. i don’t think my needle-nosed pliers are long enough to shove the spring back into the tabs at the bottom of the battery compartment. out of warranty, so i think i will make a few calls to repair shops. it works fine otherwise, i.e., i haven’t worn it out like my previous cameras.

with valentine’s coming up, my better half thought it was timely, and plunked down some recent overtime money on a new camera body for me. it’s an upgrade from the one i’ve been shooting, and of course the menu is totally different.

he wanted me to get out and test it, in case he needed to return it. he fully expects me to hate it, as i have every other camera he has handed me.

i happened to know of a few things going on this past weekend. could have gone to mooneyes show out in irwindale, but i’m still unsure how i would do at a big show, so decided to go to the fundraiser for betty, who had passed away recently, out in montebello park. it was also the eighteenth birthday for her son. she seemed seemed so young, and was definitely well-loved. kind of a bummer all the way around.

due to the meds the doctor has given me, i slept in until nine. they are supposed to relax my nerves, to help my head and arm heal. mostly, i can’t sleep until the middle of the night, then i am a zombie until late morning, and struggle to be functional on work days. thankfully, i don’t have to drive to an office, and can just roll out of bed to work.

whatever the reason, we didn’t arrive until elevenish, way later than i am used to. we were pleasantly surprised at the number of clubs that had shown up to support the family, and plenty of cars to test the camera out on.

parking lot was full, and we got lucky finding a parking space a block away.

the weather had done a one-eighty from rain and winter chill, to this almost perfect summer day in the eighties. good news for the fundraiser, bad news for me. i can’t tolerate the heat anymore. i’m so falling apart.

we walked to the front of the park, better half making his way over to find a donation box. i saw some people i hadn’t seen in a while, and caught up a little.

decided we would stop with betty’s car (above), and shoot down the block, then cross the street shooting back up that side, with intentions of going through the cars in the parking lot.

i haven’t really shot much since i fell in october. i’m out of practice, this camera is quite set the way i like it. handed to my better half to see if he could dial in the settings in the endless menus. couldn’t find one setting, and i finally just decided to look it up later, and do some shots.

this late in the day/early in the afternoon, there is more traffic zipping by in the background. so i prefer to try and time the shots with the traffic lights. this camera has settings that let me do a short delay to let the camera settle, so i don’t have to use my remote shutter. the first few pictures are slightly shaky, i jiggled the tripod, or just didn’t let it settle out of nervousness.

this one isn’t as sharp as later pics, but i like it anyway. the files are a hell of a lot bigger and take up more hard drive space. i’m going to need a new computer soon. lol. bottomless pit upgrading gear.

anyway, we continued down the street as planned. i do notice my arms are turning pink from the sun. i’m wearing my hat to keep the sun off my scar, but it’s also holding in the heat on my head. my the time we get to the other side, i am already starting to feel a bit wobbly, and my arm is a little achy.

half-way down the other side, my better half is saying my face is getting red. he knows i’m stubborn about having to stop, but by the time we get to the true pride club tent, i tell him i don’t think i can continue. he says it’s about time i admitted it, and gets me across the street to some shade, and goes to find a bottle of water.

we sit a bit, pack up the bags. i have enough stubbornness to walk back to the car. past all the pretty cars i didn’t get to shoot. really sucks.

i don’t think he’ll be “letting me” go to any shows for a while, and not without him. “letting me,” is probably the wrong phrase, as, if i am determined, he can’t stop me, and he’d start packing his camera gear for the drive.

but i admit that i was kinda scared that i was so close to feeling like passing out, more than any other time before i was injured. more than that show in temecula, where it was over a hundred degrees out…that sucked too.

maybe the cold weather will come back. i’ll try again then.

back too soon, i guess. i’ll be dipping into my backup drives for a few more months, but at least i have plenty to keep me busy.

woulda

i wanted to go to pomona yesterday.

my morning on saturday had been good, until a little back and forth texting with my daughter turned my day dark. really pissed me off. started innocent enough, but as it seems i never say the right thing to her, her mood switches gears. i can almost hear the click of the attitude shift, and there’s no reeling it back.

so now i’m blocked from her phone and social media.*

i spent an hour aggressively cleaning things that i’d easily managed to ignore for some time. burnt out some of the fury with cleaning, and expletives under my breath that i needed to get out.

better half stayed downstairs, with headphones on, watching some movie on the tv screen.

then, i’d decided i’d like to try going to shoot some cars. test out my arm, and see how dizzy i might get walking around with my camera bag. i haven’t kept up with what shows were happening in a while, but i knew that pomona would be open on sunday. not a small show, and a long walk to the show area.

at least it wouldn’t be hot.

saturday night, i got my batteries charged up. set my alarm for some ridiculous time, like three-thirty a.m., so we’d have plenty of time to be at the gates when they opened at five. no way my better half was going to let me go there by myself.

i really haven’t used my cameras much since october, when i fell. i figured the cameras would be totally dead, and would need the time and date stamps updated, at the very least.

had one hinky battery that was not charging. the knock-off batteries don’t seem to last as long as the genuine sonys do. so chucked that one, and borrowed one from my better half.

put a battery in my newer camera, and it wouldn’t turn on. weird. maybe the camera got too cold in the closet? my older cameras would be a little dodgy when i’d be out shooting in colder weather.

if i put some pressure on the lens, and changed the setting to program mode, it would start up for a second, then, black screen. popped the battery out and tried another.

same. and i don’t use program mode, so would have been terribly upset if it was the only one that had worked.

better half took a look. the spring in the battery compartment had come loose, and so the camera wouldn’t stay on. couldn’t see how to fix it, but thought maybe it could slip back into the slot. didn’t seem to be broken off. didn’t have the tools, and i thought it might still be under warranty anyway.

great. wanted to cry—fuck that, i didn’t—and went upstairs to look for the receipt, and check online to see what i’d need to do to get it repaired. what a stupid and confusing website they have, i must say.

online, the estimate was a ridiculous three-figure amount, just for them to look at it. doesn’t mean final cost, and there were no live humans to chat with, because, weekend, and holiday weekend at that.

so we didn’t go.

thought about using my old camera, but better half thought maybe i should not push my luck for the time being.

so flipping through old pics, from old cameras, on old external drives, and found this studebaker i’d seen at pomona back in 2017.

no idea why it caught my eye, then, or today. it just looked like it was saying “cheese,” for the camera.

*she did send another message later in the evening, sort of apologizing, but still not wanting to talk to me for a while. better than not at all.

boy next door

i went to this cars for a cause show near my mom’s house last summer. she specifically wanted me to take a picture of this banged up panel truck.

that’s her neighbor. one of those project car guys. he has a couple of other cars in his garage that are in better shape than this, but he chose to bring this beater to this show.

i’m not sure he recognized me, as he seemed to be staring quizzically at me and my setup. would have preferred the hood closed, and him out of sight. but, he and his wife pulled up and instantly popped the hood and placed the bear on a chair out front.

shoot them as i find them, and if he thinks that’s a good look, well…

finally got around to looking at the cars from this show, since my mom has been bugging me about it, yet again.

in her neighborhood, cars are mostly hot rodded up, and i admire them, but don’t really care for them. they have no soul. they’ve lost their mojo.

best cars at this small event were an old impala and a chevy nomad. i guess i’ll have to decide if i care enough to post those.

at this moment, i’m feeling like chopping my hair off. just out of the shower, and it’s getting to be such a hassle to deal with.

i think it’s the longest i’ve had it, down to my lower back, but just barely. it’s getting really thrashed on the ends, and just makes my head feel hot all the time. constantly tearing up the left side in the seat belt.

i do like being able to tie it up and get it out of my way though, mostly in the house. it is tempting to just shave my head and grow it out again. maybe just to my chin. i’m kinda afraid that my stupid fine hair cut that short will just look like a messy karen cut. that’s not me.

better half does like it as is, so there’s that.

disco nights

booted up my computer for a change. been a while. found a catalog of pictures from the foursquare church show back in june. apparently i haven’t done anything with them, after driving out to whittier on a hot day. guess i got busy and forgot about them.

another show that has shrunk over the years. probably was another show the same day, i can’t remember.

check out the pinstriping and airbrushing on this kustom oldies car. pretty sweet.

it’s that time of year again. bah humbug.

mom’s birthday.

five years since dad died.

if i have to hear another version of that insipid, vapid, vacuous, intolerable chorus of “time for me to come home” song on just about every one of the damn hallmark channel movies my mom watches, it will be too soon. nasally renditions just hurting my eardrums echoing “christmas, christmas…” thanks, blake. hear cash registers ring.

i suppose the song is ok. the lyrics aren’t that bad. it’s just the chorus that is the nails on the chalkboard, depending on the singer.

better half had some days off, and still managed to get called in to work three of the five days. the first day, he ended up being awake for twenty-four hours.

he’s supposed to go back to normal hours tomorrow, but he started feeling really fatigued yesterday, and today he’s running a fever.

i suppose i’ll catch it in a few days.

good thing it’s “christmas, christmas,” so i won’t be working anyway. somehow my illnesses always happen when i have the opportunity to relax and unwind.

not many people working at my office next week, so it will be quiet for me. mostly uninterrupted catch up work, i never seem to be able to get to.

i continue to heal from my accident. another set of MRIs should give the doc more info on treating my arm problems.

had an eeg done of my brain, which consisted of something akin to a swim cap with some sketchy pins poked in all over it—i picture hellraiser, though not as cool.

first bit was eyes closed while they did a flashing light show, i guess to map parts of my noggin that noticed. followed by eyes closed and some questions asked for fifteen minutes.

i imagined the doctor should have said, “electricity will now be passed through your body. may god have mercy on your soul. roll on two.”

better half observed. he confirmed that there may be something in my skull, or else they were playing some cool video game.

asshole

excuse the title, it’s not about this beautiful car, out at mooneyes open house in 2019. slammed to the ground. would win the dollar contest between the car and the ground. shiny as shit too. nice nice nice.

no, i’m still fuming about a neighbor who seems to think the open parking spots next to his condo are his personal spots. he came out to bully me after he saw my better half drive away. they’re first come, first serve. if unavailable, drive to the back of the complex, sir. a little walk might do him good.

said he was going to complain to the hoa. i told him i was going to complain about he and his wife always parking for hours in the fire lane next to the fire hydrant.

useless security company won’t come out except if they have a car in the area, and cops won’t come into the “private property, ” so what are we paying for exactly?

i’m sending a strongly worded email to the hoa contact. he won’t do anything, but at least i’ll have it documented in case the guy decides to do anything to our car. better half had been covering his, but thought someone might have pissed on it last night.

so mad. and now i have a headache. never had issues before, when i parked out on the street. newer cars now, one goes in the garage, one in the complex. space happens to be open, we’re going to park there, asshole.

tic tac

here’s another beautiful car from an old memories club show in los angeles earlier this year. sprinkly goodness on the mirror finish.

what to talk about? would rather share an interesting story i’ve overheard at a car show, but haven’t been to any lately. people watching, there weren’t any people misbehaving either. just a good time, guys squeezing big cars into small spaces. always a wonder to watch how organized they can get, but understandable that they don’t want to bump into each other.

what did i mention in my last post? ya, more of the same. more tests in my future. probably a nerve being pinched. treat with meds to calm the nerves.

if that doesn’t work, physical therapy.

if that doesn’t work, they’ll look at surgery of some sort.

as a side note, something small, aside from my brain, was noted in my noggin, but they do not seem overly concerned. size of a tic tac. i prefer orange over mint.

my better half has been taking good care of me, especially on days when i’m more unsteady, which is most every day. i can manage to get around, but he doesn’t mind holding my hand at all. he’s the best.

as a designer, i still am trying to decide which serif font “L” i see when i look in the mirror. more for lucky than loser, i think.

this thing isn’t going to fade away anytime soon. i guess i’m ok with it.

could be worse.

addlepated

early morning in barrio logan / chicano park. all the cars polished to a mirror finish, as shown on this bel air. always a good show, and hoping to go again this year.

missing some car shows. the concussion has been making me dizzy and tired, and i think i’ve got a damaged nerve in my arm, making it difficult to carry my camera and tripod very far.

my brother was in town earlier in the month, so better half wanted to take him to some nearby airplane museums in chino. i went along, knowing it would not be a long day because of my brother’s health issues.

i prefer the planes of fame over yanks air museum, but better half started with yanks. i brought my gear, but left it in the car at this museum. i used my phone for the few shots i did take.

my brother was out of steam by the time we got to the other, though the MiGs did perk him up for a sec. i brought my camera and tripod in with me, intending to take some pictures that i mostly would not care about – i take them, then generally do not post most of these things.

i moved slowly, wore a dorky hat to protect the scar on my head from the sun, and took some pics. i did feel an ache in my arm, that one of the doctors believes to be a damaged nerve from the fall and landing partially on my hand, breaking the fall not at all.

so, i’m basically grounded as far as going to car shows for some period of time.

i guess it’s a good thing i have more than fifteen years’ worth of old pics to sift through for a while.

improving

here’s a packard we saw at a fundraiser in los angeles back in march. it rained that day, off and on. still some sprinkles on the fenders of this one. didn’t rain hard enough to scare us away, but did bag the camera a couple of times.

small show, but some lovely cars were there. space was tight, and some cars had a difficult time driving in, or for a few that had to leave early, getting out.

been a while since i looked through recent photos. two weeks since i bonked my head on the pavement. glue still holding my forehead together, but should be disintegrating little by little. still have a few appointments lined up, to be sure everything else checks out, but i am very lucky, it could have been so much worse.

vision is a little blurry, but i have a big monitor, so it’s not so bothersome. my arm is a bit weak, so carrying a camera and tripod around isn’t going to happen for a while. missed out on huffarama yesterday, so bummer.

my daughter has been working at the texas state fair for the past month, doing henna painting. today is the last day. she is so over it, and ready to come home. hopefully she made enough money to make it worth it, but i think the experience was worth it at least once. her birthday is coming up, but she’ll still be on the road with her friend, her dogs, and her tarantula. safe travels and happy birthday, my girl.